Needed

Today has been a funny day...
I just spent 20 minutes trying to open a bottle of Mt. Dew. This is the most annoying thing about living without any men. I mean I guess I am just a wimp but I cannot open anything for myself. However, I have never had problems with Mt. Dew bottles... until lately. Ya know those little bitty bottles that never really satisfy your thirst but make you feel better about drinking half your days calories from a little green bottle? Well I first noticed the problem with these bottles, but today it happened with a 20 oz bottle! I just couldn't open this thing no matter what I tried. I am like about to cry. After trying for 20 min and even trying to poke a hole in the bottle so I could just pour it into a glass... I had to go outside and ask the first guy I saw for help. This happens to me all the time so I am over the embarrassment of it. It even took him more than one try so it made me feel a little better about the situation. I am telling you this top was like super glued on! However I was slightly embarrassed when he said "didn't you just ask me to open your pickle jar last week?" umm... yes? Anyway, I am mad at the Pepsi company right now. Also there is a bottle of juice that Emily has that she hasn't been able to open for two weeks but refuses to go out and ask for help. I just think that is silly. I told her she could probably meet a boyfriend and get her bottle open all in one!

Other reasons I need a man-slave/butler/brother to live here with me...
-take out the trash
-unload my car when I come back from home
-bring in the groceries
-protect me from murderers
-start my car in the mornings (this was more an issue when there was ice every morning)

So if anyone wants to volunteer for this job I will be taking applications.