Planning life.

I am very plan oriented. I like to have plans. I like to know what is going to happen and when it is going to occur. I have a color coded planner that tells me what to expect each day. Classes without a planned out syllabus tend to drive me nuts. If we are supposed to do something tomorrow then I like to know what time we are going to do it... tomorrow night just won't cut it because night to me might be different than night to you. I like to know so that I can plan my day accordingly. I need lists. I need a plan.

I haven't always been like this. It is beginning to drive me nuts.

If God would give me an itinerary I would love it! For some reason He seems to constantly be changing my plans for His own. Life is funny like that. Even though I realize not all people need plans like I do, I do believe that most people like knowing the plan. And not only do we like plans, but people like to know your plans. How many times a day do I get asked what I am doing after graduation, when am I going to get married, where do I want to work... well guess what people, I DON'T KNOW and it is killing me!!! I would love to know. I wish I could tell you or better yet I wish you could tell me.

Things I wish I knew... where I will be working after graduation, if I will get into OT school, where will I go to OT school, if not what will happen (will I go to a different type of school, will I stick with the job I have, will I like what I do), when will I get married, where will I live?????? The list goes on and on but these are my top concerns for the next five years. If I just knew these things then I could plan out the next five years accordingly.. right?

I know I know "the fun part of life is the not knowing"... well maybe for some people but for this anxiety ridden 22 year old the idea of not knowing freaks me out. I have a plan in my head for all these things obviously.. but I don't know why I am trying to figure it out. My plans are always changing. Things are always getting in the way of how I want it to be or think it is going to be. The only thing I dislike more than no plans is when people change set plans.

So in conclusion, I like plans. I don't like that I don't know what to expect in the next few years. If we have plans don't change them without a lot of notice. I am ready to know.

I will just continue to repeat this verse to myself.
"For I know the plans I have for you" declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11


At least I know there is a plan and it is a good one even if I don't know it yet.