Change

I just woke up from one of the coolest dreams I have ever had. In my dream I was back in 6th grade. I woke up and went in the kitchen and my mom was there holding a baby (Wilson). My teeth were hurting from my brand new braces and I told her I wanted to go to school. The next thing I know I was at ERES back in my exact 6th grade classroom. There were things in there I had forgotten all about but they appeared in my dream. I had all the knowledge and memories that I do now but I was in a 12 year olds body. I saw my friends! I took my seat beside that skinny little tan boy that I knew I was going to grow up to love. I wanted to hug him and take a picture of him with my smart phone that I somehow snuck back in the past with me. I wanted to tell him that he looked so cute but then I realized 6th grade me would have never been so forward ;) and I didn't want to alter the future haha.  I had to do my daily writing assignment, and Mrs. Barron was being annoying just like she always was. And then... I woke up.

That dream was just what I needed. That was a great time in my life, but it was a time of great change. I was about to change schools, lose friends, make friends, be challenged, and find out I wasn't as cool as I thought. And through this dream I realized that I wouldn't go back if I had the choice. I love my life now. I love being a "grown-up"! I am glad I don't have braces. I love hugging that boy and knowing he loves me. I love how it all ended up!! I am graduating college!! This is a time of great change, but when I look back on my life the biggest changes have brought some of the best things. So I went to bed dreading this change but I woke up excited and encouraged! So bring it on world in the kindest way possible please... This graduate is ready to see what is waiting on the other side!

If walls could talk

I am done with school!!!!!!!! It feels great. I've been busy. I have packed all day today. It has been hectic and annoying. Tonight as I sit down I realize a lot of the reason it has been this way is because that is how I wanted it. I didn't want to think about it all because I didn't want to hear what these walls had to say.... I am no good at change. 

my bedroom

These walls once full of pictures and color are now bare. This room has seen the best times and the worst. It has been a safe haven on nights I am scared and lonely. A place to be alone. There have been so many happy memories in this room. It has heard joyous giggles and sad cries. In this room I have gotten good news and bad. I've had phone conversations that lasted all night and I have had naps that lasted all day. I love this room.

the dining room

You can't tell anymore but this room is the dining room. A table and chairs have now been replaced with boxed up mementos. This room has seen good meals mostly made by me ;) and bad meals mostly made by Emily.We have sat around the table with friends and talked about everything other the sun. That table has seen countless hours of homework!

Emily's room

And this room... where that stranger who became a friend lived all these years. Just a wall away from me. Always there when I needed her, usually sitting on the bed doing homework or talking on the phone. The room where the hairdryer loudly blows for at least an hour every single morning. Where ants got into the bed and so my 100 pound roommate threw her bed all the way across the room in a mad fit.

there is so much more I could say... but for now I am going to watch Father of the Bride with Emily. Tomorrow I have rehearsal and a manicure and more packing. AND THEN Saturday my family will be here and I will graduate. Oh happy, happy day!!! :) All that being said, I am going to miss these walls.

Thankful for..

A good nights sleep.
Waking up before my alarm and not wanting to go back to sleep.That never happens to me!
A new good friend I wish I had more time with.
The last week of classes! yee freaking haw
Easy tests and extra credit.
Looking for 4 leaf clovers in between classes even if I still haven't found one.
Classes full of good discussion.
Seeing the outdoor thermometer hit 90!
Time to sit and read the Bible and pray while enjoying the sunshine.
Popcorn the real buttery kind.
A car ride with a giggly 5 year old who sees the world in such an interesting way.
Little baby girl greeting you with open arms.
Gossip Girl with Emily I am going to miss these afternoons so much.
Frozen pizza and Mt. Dew.
A clean apartment even if I didn't enjoy cleaning it.
Marking things off of checklists even when there are still a million things to do

This has been a wonderful day.

Life is Crazy

My life right now is a crazy jam packed circus of goodbyes and lasts and excitement and sadness. Emily won an award today... I cried. haha I am so proud of how hard she has worked, and no one in that room deserved it more than her. I am glad the education department agrees. But in that moment I was reminded that that redhead bundle of weirdness is such a blessing to me. I am trying not to think of goodbyes... And I know it isn't goodbye it is see ya later but let's be real, it is. I am saying goodbye to life as I know it and saying hello to a world of opportunity and excitement and newness. In many ways I am excited for that hello, but that doesn't make the goodbyes any easier. All I know is that I love my life. How can one little girl grow up to be so very blessed. I am so lucky to have had such awesome people here that make goodbyes so hard. So in conclusion, most of my posts for the next few weeks are probably going to be weepy "I can't believe it's over" posts. For all of you have read all the  "oh my gosh, get me out of here" posts then I guess you are realizing I am in fact always a rollercoaster of emotions... sorry. 

In other news...

-I got feather extensions put in my hair :) haha 

-My new semi-favorite show but not as good as Little House, the Waltons, or OTH is Big Bang Theory

-I have 6 final exams in 2 days and I have to make a 100 on one of them... Pray

-eating out every meal will make you gain a lot of weight (lesson: don't pack up your kitchen until last)

A whole lot of Fancy!

This weekend I became a Princess! Oh wait... that was Kate. But no worries I was wide awake and watching. Emily even woke up and watched with me and we wore construction paper crowns. I might have cried just a little. I love weddings! It was beautiful. Great way to start off the weekend! But no worries people... I am not in mourning for the loss of Prince William. I know another cutie (and he isn't balding like the real prince)

Perfect ;)

This weekend was really full of fancy and fun. I got home just in time to go and see Andrew take Prom pictures!! I can't believe he went to PROM! Oh my goodness, He looked SO handsome. I think he was probably the cutest boy there. If he is going to Prom then I am officially old... yikes. 

The majority of the rest of the weekend was spent celebrating the marriage of Nick Kahn to Kamber Demers. I can't believe he is married. It too was a beautiful wedding. did I mention I love weddings. I loved spending the weekend remembering old times and dreaming of the future. I loved seeing people I haven't seen in a long time. And I loved seeing such a sweet friend so happy. I am happy for him and Kamber. And they had one thing the Royal Wedding didn't and that was the cutest Groomsman I ever did see sorry Harry. 

Also the bouquet might have hit me right in the face... I don't know if that is a good thing or not. It is an interesting story for why I will have a huge ginormous scab on my face for graduation that might be a little dramatic of a statement. 

Speaking of graduation... we are now in the teens!!! I really have no idea how I feel about this. AHH!!!

It's happening.

well today it happened... I cried. For the first time it really hit me, I am leaving Jackson and I am never coming back. Yesterday I took everything off of my walls in my bedroom. For some reason it seemed like a logical place to start. Considering I have never moved out of anywhere in my life I am kind of new at this whole thing. My family has lived in the same house my whole life. The tornado moved blew me out of my dorm room. And my parents so politely moved all my stuff from my home bedroom into the basement while I was away at school. So I have never had to do this.. but it is coming along. After I got it all off the walls I realized it is never going back up. This place I lived for the past 3 years will soon belong to someone else. They won't know the memories made here. That is sad. They won't know that the microwave will burn popcorn if you don't open the bag in the middle of popping (that took me about a year to figure out). And they won't know that there are little tacks that stick up in the carpet and hurt really bad if you step on them. I wish I could tell them all of this, what a horribly special place this is. I feel like today might be the first tears of many that will come when I realize all the goodbyes that are soon taking place.

So yes I am a little emotional. Partly because in a mere 11 hours my dream of marrying Prince William will be crushed by Princess Kate! Partly because "You're gonna miss this" keeps playing on the radio. And partly because I am having two more BOY cousins.... I was just sure they were girls, but I will love them anyway. (Even though I have not ruled out gender reconstructive surgery for them, I just need their mom to agree)

And Lastly, I wish Princess Diana was still alive... I am really sad about that one.

April Showers, Easter, and Time

If April showers bring May flowers then what do April tornados bring? Well for me right now they bring headaches, terrible nightmares, and stress. All things I am praying will go away soon. I can only hope something as beautiful as a flower can come from this. Jackson is saying goodbye to me with storm after storm after storm. One thing I have learned about storms is eventually they end even if it takes 3 days. No matter how bad they are at the time, the sun will come out "tomorrow" or maybe in 4 tomorrows and I will be more grateful for the sunshine because of these stormy days.

On a happier note... Easter Weekend!
Once again I had a great weekend at home for Easter break. I have been going home every weekend because of different events and even though it is a lot of gas money, it has been worth it each time. I enjoyed celebrating my dad's birthday, going to ballgames, spending time with friends, and spending time with family. The best part of the weekend was definitely rejoicing in the reminder that Christ has Risen! I hope that I never say those words in a lackluster way. It is true, and I was constantly reminded of it over the weekend. I love my weekends at home :) good thing I get to go back in just 3 days!

There seems to not be enough hours in the day to finish everything I need to get done. I have many papers and tests coming up within the next few weeks. On top of the school work I am trying to find time to enjoy the last few moments with my friends here, startin the packing process, and finding time to eat/shower/sleep. I know that it will all get done.